The urge to vomit is quite natural; it’s a human defense mechanism to rid the body quickly of something detrimental to it. Vomiting is also a human response to the intake of garbage. So did I feel like throwing up when I saw the movie Blackberry Babes? Oh yeah!
Do I really need to tell you what it’s about? What else? It’s about a bunch of pretty hot undergraduate girls going so gaga for Black Berry phones that they would do anything (sleeping around, stealing, anything dude!) to own one, two or more Blackberry phones (oh bother!). That’s all it’s about, honest. What do you expect from a movie that is titled Black Berry Babes? A movie portraying the exploits of…well…Black Berry babes, that’s what.
Look, to be honest with you, the director, Obadigie should have given money to charity than waste it on producing a pile of junk like BBB, based on a particularly horrendous story (if any). The irritating attempts at sex scenes are well…irritating and what can I say about the grammar: “Let me just find you a few cash for a job well done.” (Say what!?).
The movie had no definite storyline, just shameless product placement; we sure hope that the director received cash for this 2 hour Black Berry promo for all its models-even the latest ones. It’s really unbelievable but that’s what Nollywood is about. To be frank I was surprised a movie about BB was released this late; Nigerian movie makers are usually sharper than that.
You know it’s funny how you would meet the director of this kind of trash for an interview and he’d waste your time (all the while insulting your intelligence) only to tell you it’s a blockbuster; pal, better look up that word before you use it. If I was in this movie and I was interviewed, it would go something like this:
REPORTER: what’s the moral of the movie?
ME: they made fine coffee here
REPORTER: how great do you think the movie will be?
ME: I was paid on time.
Dude I can’t say anything good about it, but I’m not stupid enough to get myself blacklisted (awesome dude).
I don’t really believe that we’re going to stop seeing movies like this in Nigeria; then why am I ranting about it? (1) Because I can, (2) Because someone has to and, (3) Because it feels good. To BBB, I raise a glass and say “What a load of rubbish.”