WHAT’ THE REALITY
I’m scrolling through the channels on HiTv and I stop at HiNolly. I scream so loud that my heart almost pops out of mi mouth when I see Flavour of love is going to become a new show on the channel. Oh my God! Isn’t it bad enough that we had to tolerate this out- of- relevance rapper- with- a- clock on MTV? Oh well, that’s reality television for you, I mean this reality television thing is so all over the place. You think I’m crazy? You bet your Prada I am.
You’ve got movie stars, music stars, sports stars and oh yes . . . reality television stars. It’s so disgusting and I’m so enraged. What is so realistic about these shows like keeping up with the kardashians, the Osbornes, Laguna Beach, big brother etc. For crying out loud, these guys walk around with cameras on them (fully aware of this); so tell me how this isn’t acting. It’s like watching Cloverfield every week. This stuff isn’t reality, it’s scripted!
And somebody has got to tell these washed out stars that reality television is not a way to warm back into our hearts (take note Hogan). I don’t care how desperate they are to be in the limelight, they should just do what the mere mortals do: RETIRE! There’s nothing realistic about “reality television,” so these guys should just give us a big fat break.
But don’t pay attention to me, I’m just angry.
EFCC AND REBRANDING
Could someone give the Economic Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) their teeth back because this dog’s has lost its bite? Yes, that seems as harsh as “auntie” Hillary’s words to us, but this has to be said. This anti- graft agency seemed to fall into deep slumber after the exit of the formidable Nuhu Ribadu. Say what you like about this guy (Obasanjo stooge or not) he went after some sharks at got them; he made a great effort to clamp down on corruption in high places. So, I ask a question: what exactly is ‘Madame Farida Waziri doing? In these times when Prof. Dora Akunyili is blocking our ears with‘re- branding this,’‘re- branding that,’ why can’t we re- brand the EFCC? This is an agency that has closed their eyes to the Halliburton scam and that concerning the Vaswani brothers, but was very quick to pounce on the very unfortunate sacked bank chiefs.
The EFCC never made moves to detain these guys until the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) governor sacked them; so where did all these charges come from? I wonder if this is just a hapless attempt to prove the United States Secretary of State wrong.
Remember the Petroleum Technology Development Fund (PTDF) scandal, the infamous power probe and, of course, the allegations of corruption made on various ex- government officials. I cry blue murder on these issues. Let this toothless dog called the EFCC let the bank chiefs go, if they have no hard case, because it would be very embarrassing if they (the bank chiefs) come out of this drama absolved.
To our ministry of Information and communication, I say: give us a break with all this re- branding nonsense and just settle your government’s issues with the Academic Staff Union of Universities (ASUU), give us constant power supply and create jobs for our graduates. Start your re- branding there and put your money where your mouth is.